So, What's my story?
So, What's my story?
It seems that on the daily I get asked what I'm doing for work these days.
I am going to answer that question now, even though I loathe it for many reasons, but that's a story for another day.
The short answer is, I'm not.
I decided I needed a lifestyle change, and it led me here, to creating this new business.
If you want to know why, and what led me to this new venture, here it goes:
About two and a half years ago I got quite unwell from having a very stressful, poor work/no life, lifestyle. Basically, it consisted of far too much work, well, only work really, and nothing much else. It wouldn't be uncommon for me to still be at the office at 10:00pm, and I can count at least a dozen times that I was there until midnight or later, after arriving sometime between 5:00am and 9:30am (mostly the latter, after being so tired from work, going home to work some more, and falling asleep with my laptop). I never had any time to focus on me. At all. Ever. For a very, very, long time. Unfortunately for me, by the time I realized how it was effecting me living my own life, and decided to start enjoying my life again, it had already hugely affected my health.
So, what was the tipping point?
I was sitting in a meeting, and someone was talking, probably to me, and I was staring right through them. I had no idea what they said, what was happening in the meeting, and honestly, I didn't even remember getting up that morning, or driving to work. I wasn't present, I was physically in the building, but I didn't even remember getting there. Then someone really was talking to me, and I just started tearing up, because I felt completely helpless, and just so confused – which was a feeling I hadn't ever felt in my career. I worked very hard to not have to ever feel that way, until a point where it was all too much for one person to even possibly be capable of – because if anyone could, it would have been me. Later that week when I realized I wasn't feeling any better, I went to the doctor. I was suddenly embodying a zombie; I could barely even get out of bed, I was sleeping endlessly, and when I did get up, I was dazed, useless, and went back to bed. I had ridiculously low iron to the point of complete confusion (Who knew that low iron did that?! I sure didn't.), topped with stress, stomach ulcers, strep throat, mono, chest pain, and the list goes on. My doctor suspected it was a result of stress from work, and asked me two simple questions, "Does your work make you happy?" and "Have you considered not going back?". I knew the answer to the first question was a no, and I wondered if it ever really made me happy, or if I was just working towards the carrots that were being dangled, and the lifestyle I was being told was at my fingertips..
I was off work on doctor’s orders for over a month when I finally made the tough decision that no, I was not going to return to a lifestyle that I knew would never change, which is quite unfortunate, as I poured everything I had into it for a very long time. Unfortunately, it turned out that I was doing it all for nothing, and all I was left with were empty promises, not being able to get out of bed for several months, all while burning through all of my savings. To top it off, all the people who said they would be there for me, simply weren't. All of the people that I was there for when they needed me, were, in my eyes, abandoning me.
Now let me tell you something else;
This whole situation was undoubtedly the best thing to ever happen to me.
For the first time in many years, I finally started living for ME, and you better believe that these last two years or so have been the best years on record!
I recently read an article that summed up the work culture I was living pretty simply in just this quote, "We’re living in a bizarre world in which it’s perfectly reasonable – and often encouraged – to place caring about work as a higher priority than our own mental well-being, or actually being a person rather than a worker."
These experiences have solidified for me, that I will not ever put caring about work, and building someone else's business, above my own well-being, ever again. I have vowed not to ever prioritize making other people have the ability to be happy, healthy, and wealthy, over myself, while making myself very unbelievably unwell in the process, ever again. Ever.
I no longer tolerate anything that puts my own mental or physical health in jeopardy, and am consistently checking in with myself to make sure it stays that way.
Since then, I have traveled endlessly; Starting with 5 weeks in Bali intended for healing, living on a tropical island paradise for a year and a half, travelling to Europe for 5 weeks, doing a cross Canada road trip for 6 weeks, trips to Mexico, New York (x 5!), Miami – and so much more. I met all of the most amazing people, have had the most epic days and nights, and have never felt SO alive (when I'm not napping – I do still love my naps!).
I know, get on with it, what led me to THIS though, the lifestyle, the Malas?
While I was off work, before I made my decision that I wasn't going back to that lifestyle, I started looking at all sorts of alternative healing options and alternative medicines, because quite frankly – I needed to get better. This consisted of daily/then weekly blood tests, doctors, vitamins, monitoring my iron levels, loooooots of meditation, using crystals, and seeing spiritual healers (who are now great friends!). I've spent a large majority of the last two and a half years focusing on internal work, growing, healing, meditation, and manifesting the things I've always wanted – if you've seen photos and posts of my journey along the way, it is working out tremendously!
I've always been into crystals, and was often convincing my friends or family to go to metaphysical shops to check out crystals, tarot cards, and oracle cards (Did you know I read Oracle cards and Tarot cards?! Stay tuned for more on this!), however I never really got into meditation until I met my friend Sarazen, who explained more about meditation, violet flames, guides, and so much more. I am so grateful for her knowledge and friendship, as it helped me tremendously to get through some tough sh*t.
Once I started working on myself, focusing on my meditation practice, and living a different lifestyle, I started attracting more people like me, and was no longer inclined to spend time or energy with people who were no longer growing, or those not on the same page as me.
Then the weirdest thing happened as things started to shift for me.
I'm a big believer in everyone being brought into your life for a purpose, and this solidified it. I was searching on Facebook for who knows what, and came across a page that had a lovely Tarot Tuesday at the time (which is totally my jam!), and I was super drawn to it. Like a lot. Then it dawned on me, I KNOW THIS LOVELY LADY! But how? Then I realized. I pulled out my pictures from Mexico, a trip I took over 10 years ago, and there it was, a photo of me and my found again friend Hayley, in Mexico! I wasn't sure why we were reconnecting, but it was clear to me that neither of us were the people we used to be, at all. Either way, I continued to follow Hayley's social media, and I messaged her to see if she remembered me. This found again friendship led me to a change in my new daily meditation routine, with the addition of Mala Necklaces!
I've always known about malas through my love of crystals, but in the last couple years I learned more about malas through loads of research, lots of blogs and social media pages, and an amazing book Hayley recommended in one of her blogs called The Magic Mala (I highly suggest you read this book!). I started doing my daily meditation and manifesting with my malas, and it felt RIGHT. It just clicked. I started with one that I would meditate with and wear every day, and then it became addicting – I bought myself five in one year (all from Hayley)!
All of my malas are made with different gemstones with different healing purposes, and set with different intentions. I use different mantras with each of them, and I looove them! I love malas so much that I *needed* to start making them for myself, because I started to picture ones I wanted, and dream about them, and now I just can't stop! Malas can be so healing and energizing to use, wear, and make. I'm loving every single minute of this new venture.
So, back to the point, almost every day I have someone asking what I'm doing these days for work? To put it simply, I'm not.
I'm working on myself, personal growth, healing, and now I'm helping others to do the same. I wouldn't consider this 'work', I consider it my passion.
I needed more healing and creativity in my life, and less 'working for the man', so I'm just enjoying that for a while. Having said that, if you're looking to get into meditation, looking to attend a workshop or retreat, or are in the market for a new mala – I might just have something that resonates with you.
That's it, for now ;).
Reach out to me, for any reason, I'm here!
- Ashley Wilson